SCENE I: Leo and Grace's Apartment
(JACK and GRACE are in the kitchen cooking.)
JACK: Gosh, Grace, it was so sweet of you to cook Will and Karen dinner. Well, you know, I just figured after a long day at the divorce hearing, it would be nice to come back to a home cooked meal. You're so generous. I swear, if you weren't Jewish, you'd definitely go to heaven.
GRACE: Thanks, Jack. And if you weren't gay, you'd go there too.
[JACK NODS]
GRACE: Ooh, they're gonna be here any minute. We should get crackin'.
[JACK PICKS UP A BOX FROM THE COUNTER.]
JACK: This looks complicated.
GRACE: Jack, it's four packs of Easy Mac. It's really complicated. Okay, now, read the recipe to me again.
JACK: [READING] Place noodles in bowl, add water--
GRACE: Slow down!
[GRACE DUMPS THE 4 PACKS INTO A LARGE GLASS BOWL AND POURS THE WATER INTO THE BOWL.]
[SHE PUTS THE BOWL IN THE MICROWAVE AND PRESSES THE START BUTTON.]
GRACE: [SIGHS] That was endless. Do you remember when it used to take six minutes to cook macaroni and cheese?
JACK: No. I'm really young.
[KAREN AND WILL ENTER.]
KAREN: Who does that Stanley Walker think he is? Trying to cheat me outta half of his fortune? I gave that man the drunkest years of my life!
WILL: Oh, you've still got some good drunk years ahead of you, I bet.
KAREN: [TO JACK AND GRACE] Oh, and you two wouldn't believe the lawyer that Stan has. Hmm, this Truman fella. Tricky little queen. Mincing around the conference room, [WITH A LIMP WRIST] "I object, move to sstrike."
WILL: Yeah, he was a riot. You know who else was something? The pill-popping shrew trying to get her hands on Stan's money. Yeah. Falling asleep on the conference table, waking up with a shriek, throwing up a little in her purse.
JACK: Guys, guys, come on. Let's relax. Nobody got hurt, nobody got outed.
[THE MICROWAVE BEEPS.]
GRACE: Yay! It's ready.
JACK: Grace, I wanted to say that! A "yay" is better from a gay.
GRACE: Look, Will. We've been cooking.
[GRACE HOLDS UP THE BOWL OF MACARONI AND CHEESE.]
WILL: Oh, a cuisine of Chef Boy-are-you-lazy.
GRACE: Hey, we were just trying to do something nice. Sorry, if it wasn't as fancy as you would've done it. With your squeezing pepper, and your stirring things in bowls.
WILL: Sorry, it's just been a difficult day... watching Joan Crawford address PepsiCo.
KAREN: Oh, yeah, real rough day for you. Meanwhile, my soon-to-be ex-husband is trying to screw me over. I gave that man the drunkest years of my life!
WILL: Stop saying that here, stop saying that to the judge!
JACK: Dinner is getting cold! [TURNING HIS BACK] I don't know why I even try anymore.
[GRACE PUTS A HAND ON JACK'S SHOULDER TO COMFORT HIM.]
KAREN: How dare Stanley Walker say that I wasn't a good wife?! You think it was fun sharing my bed with that gas machine? I swear. I am never speaking to that man again. I mean it, I'm done!
[ROSARIO SUDDENLY ENTERS.]
ROSARIO: Miss Karen. I have awful news.
KAREN: [ANGRY] What is it, Rosie? Because this day couldn't possibly get any worse.
ROSARIO: It's Mr. Stan. He's dead.
[EVERYONE IS STUNNED. KAREN SITS DOWN ON THE COUCH.]
[LEO BANGS OPEN THE DOOR. HE'S WEARING SCRUBS AND CARRYING TWO SIX-PACKS OF BEER.]
LEO: Hey, hey, I got off work early. Picked up a couple of sixes. I found a 20 on the street. Damn, it's good to be alive!
[EVERYONE IS SILENT.]
LEO: What?
SCENE II: A Westchester Mortuary, Stanley Walker's Funeral
(As people arrive, JACK is escorting them into the chapel.)
JACK: Hello, welcome to the funeral. Right this way. First wife's side there. Second wife's side there. Mistress' side down in front, right where Stan liked her.
JACK: And I know this is a somber occasion, but we're gonna try to not block the entrance. Okay, and we're moving, and we're sad. Okay, and we're sad....
[GRACE, LEO, AND WILL ENTER.]
GRACE: I can't believe Stan is gone. I feel so bad. Maybe I could've saved him.
WILL: The man died schtupping his mistress. I don't see how you could've saved him.
GRACE: Maybe I could've distracted him. I could've run in wearing a pizza.
LEO: Wait, he really died schtupping his mistress? That hot British chick? That lucky bastard. [CHUCKLES]
[GRACE IS NOT LAUGHING.]
LEO: It could be argued.
WILL: Apparently, she was trapped under him for two days. Only thing that kept her alive were the little bits of sandwich underneath his right breast.
[LEO AND WILL LAUGH. GRACE IS APPALLED.]
GRACE: 'Scuse me. Can you show some respect? A man died. A man I knew, a man I could've been under.
LEO: Wh-why would you have been under him?
GRACE: Why is anybody under anyone? The point is the randomness of it all. People die. I might die. Even worse, I might get old. Really old. [GRACE BEGINS TO CRY.]
[GRACE ENTERS THE CHAPEL.]
LEO: [TO WILL] And we're back to Grace.
WILL: I don't think we really ever left.
[LEO FOLLOWS GRACE INTO THE CHAPEL.]
[JACK EXITS THE CHAPEL INTO THE LOBBY.]
WILL: [TO JACK] Hey, buddy. That suit I couldn't find this morning looks good on you.
JACK: Oh, yes. It's like a vacation for the seams.
WILL: How you holding up?
JACK: How do you think I'm holding up? Stan was distant, knew nothing about me, never supported my career. He was like a father to me.
[WILL PATS JACK ON THE BACK TO COMFORT HIM.]
WILL: It's hard to believe he's gone. Seems like only yesterday, he was pointing to his new plugs and saying, "do these look real?" I lied and said yes.
[KAREN AND ROSARIO ENTER. KAREN IS WEARING A BLACK GIORGIO ARMANI V-NECK DRESS. ROSARIO IS WEARING HER MAID'S UNIFORM, BUT WITH A BLACK MEMBER'S ONLY JACKET INSTEAD OF THE USUAL BURGUNDY.]
WILL: Hey, Karen.
JACK: I'm so sorry, Karen.
KAREN: Thank you.
[JACK HUGS KAREN AND KISSES HER ON THE CHEEK. WILL JOINS IN.]
ROSARIO: Could I get in on that?
JACK: Sure, you big softie, come on.
[ROSARIO JOINS THE GROUP HUG, NEARLY KNOCKING EVERYONE OVER.]
KAREN: Rosie....
ROSARIO: Yes, Miss Karen?
KAREN: Could you do me a favor?
ROSARIO: Anything, Miss Karen.
KAREN: Could you... go into the chapel and... Lemon Pledge my pew?
ROSARIO: Like you had to ask.
[ROSARIO EXITS INTO THE CHAPEL.]
JACK: I'm gonna go and make sure all the unattractive people are in the back. You shouldn't have to bear anymore pain today.
[JACK WALKS INTO THE CHAPEL.]
JACK: [YELLING] Hey! Lazy eye, in the back!
KAREN: Will, Will.
WILL: I'm right here, sweetie.
KAREN: No, Will, when can I see the will.
WILL: You're very upset. I don't think now is a good time to talk about that.
KAREN: I know, honey, it's just that I'm feeling so many emotions... Loss, anger, sadness. Knowing how much money I'm getting would really snap all of that into focus.
WILL: Well, I'm not really sure. I-I haven't seen the latest version.
KAREN: Huh--what--huh--latest--huh?
WILL: Yeah, Stan came in to see his estate attorney a couple of weeks ago. I remember because it was the day that I tried the Rock deodorant and they asked me to leave at 3:00.
KAREN: They changed his will. Why would he do that?
[STANLEY'S MISTRESS, LORRAINE FINSTER, ENTERS. SHE'S WEARING A VERY SHORT DOLCE & GABANNA DRESS WITH A SHEER BLACK WRAP. SHE IS FOLLOWED BY LETTY, KAREN'S BACK-UP MAID, WHO IS DRESSED LIKE ROSARIO (BUT WITH A GREY MEMBER'S ONLY JACKET).]
KAREN: [SIGHS] Well, well, well. Looked what my husband's cash dragged in.
LORRAINE: [WEEPING, TO HER MAID] How could this happen, Letty? My Stanley, my little man. I could still remember his last words: "I'm... I'm..." and then he was gone.
KAREN: [COLDLY] Lorraine.
LORRAINE: [COLDLY] Karen.
KAREN: Back-up maid.
LETTY: Miss Karen.
[LETTY THE BACK-UP MAID NODS TO KAREN AND ENTERS THE CHAPEL.]
KAREN: Nice outfit for a funeral. If that dress were any shorter, I could see your English muffin.
LORRAINE: I wouldn't talk. If that dress were any lower, I could see your yankee doodles. [TO WILL] You're a natty dresser. Are you English?
WILL: Oh, no, I'm gay.
LORRAINE: Well, it's the same thing.
WILL: If that weren't true, I'd find it offensive. [TO KAREN] Come on, Karen. Let's go inside.
LORRAINE: [TO KAREN] Darling. Darling. I know this is a sad day for both of us. But I just want you to know one little thing. [INTO KAREN'S EAR] I'm getting it all.
KAREN: Well, then, maybe you can treat yourself to some underpants.
SCENE III: The Mortuary, Stanley Walker's Funeral
(Everyone is seated. The MINISTER is at the pulpit.)
MINISTER: Stanley Walker touched so many people's lives. He was a wonderful husband, a loving father, a respected businessman. His absence will leave a huge void in our lives that cannot possibly be filled.
KAREN: [ROLLS HER EYES] All right, enough with the fat jokes.
MINISTER: And now a reading from Psalm 23. "The Lord is my shepard..."
GRACE: [QUEITLY TO LEO] I don't know what I'd do if you died. I hope I go first. Then again, you love me so much, that would be unbearable for you.
MINISTER: " ...He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness..."
GRACE: [QUEITLY TO LEO] Yeah, you should die first. Definitely you.
LEO: [QUEITLY] Can I go in my sleep or you looking for me to suffer?
MINISTER: And now a special treat. Stanley's little sister, Kimmy, is going to sing her brother's favorite song.
[KIMMY TAKES THE PULPIT.]
KIMMY: [SINGING] Oh, I love to go a-wandering along the mountain track. And as I go, I love to sing my knapsack on my back. Valderi, valdera...
LEO: [SCOFFS] What a lame-o song. Who would like that?
[LEO LOOKS OVER AT GRACE. SHE AND WILL ARE BOPPING THEIR HEADS AND CHEERILY BEGIN SINGING ALONG.]
KIMMY [WITH WILL & GRACE SINGING ALONG]: Valdera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Valderi, valdera, my knapsack on my back...
KAREN: [QUIETLY TO JACK, RE: LORRAINE] Hey, look at her.
[LORRAINE IS CRYING, WIPING HER EYES WITH A TISSUE.]
JACK: I know. We hate her. We hate her even more than the know-it-all daughter on "The Gilmore Girls."
KAREN: [GASPS] Is that tart flipping me off?
[LORRAINE IS WIPING TEARS AWAY WITH HER MIDDLE FINGER.]
[LORRAINE WIPES BOTH HER EYES WITH HER MIDDLE FINGERS.]
KAREN: [GASPS] Oh, I can't take it anymore. [TO WILL] Wilma!
WILL: [SINGING ALONG WITH KIMMY] I wave my hat to all I meet--
KAREN: Wilma!
WILL: Oh, I'm sorry. It's just such a wonderful song. And it's so sweet how Kimmy and Stan have the same voice.
KAREN: Listen, I need to see that will, and I need to see it right now. Chop chop!
WILL: What're you suggesting? That I page a lawyer on the weekend, and have him run the will over here? Drag some guy all the way to Westchester? Clear this place out in the middle of a funeral and start talking dollars and cents?
KAREN: Sounds good.
WILL: Oh, all right. I wouldn't ordinarily do this, but I'm dying to try my new Blackberry.
[WILL PULLS OUT HIS BLACKBERRY ORGANIZER AND BEGINS THUMBING AN E-MAIL MESSAGE.]
[JACK LOOKS AT LORRAINE. SHE SMILES AT HIM.]
JACK: [BLOWS RASPBERRY AT LORRAINE] Pbbblltt! [TO KAREN] Why do you need to see the will?
KAREN: Stan changed it. She might get everything.
JACK: Damn her! I am never speaking to her again.
[JACK LOOKS AT LORRAINE AND POINTS TO HER, THEN TO HIMSELF, AND HOLDS HIS HAND UP LIKE A PHONE.]
KIMMY: [SINGING] My knapsack on my back.
MINISTER: Thank you, Kimmy.
[KIMMY STEPS DOWN OFF THE ALTAR.]
KAREN: [TO KIMMY] Let's get together, and this time, I'll show up. Okay?
[KIMMY RETURNS TO HER SEAT.]
MINISTER: And now, a moment of silence as we reflect on the life of Stanley Walker.
[EVERYONE BOWS THEIR HEADS.]
[A CELL PHONE BEGINS RINGING, PLAYING "THE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE".]
LEO: Sorry.
[LEO FUMBLES AROUND TRYING TO GET THE PHONE OUT OF HIS POCKET.]
GRACE: Turn it off, Leo.
LEO: Good idea, Grace.
[LEO PULLS OUT THE PHONE, BUT DROPS IT. IT SLIDES UNDER THE PEW IN FRONT OF HIM AND JACK PICKS IT UP.]
JACK: [ANSWERING] Hello? Oh, hey, how are you?
[JACK GETS UP AND WALKS OUT OF THE CHAPEL, WITH LEO FOLLOWING HIM.]
GRACE: [STANDS UP] I'm--I'm sorry. He's a doctor. I'm a doctor's wife. A moment of silence.
[EVERYONE BOWS THEIR HEADS AGAIN.]
LORRAINE: [WHISPERING TO KAREN] Pssst. I'd like you to have all your things out by tomorrow morning, all right?
KAREN: [WHISPERING TO LORRAINE] Oh, okay. Oh, pssst. I'd like you to eat me.
MINISTER: An number of people have offered to share their memories of Stanley Walker. And first up is his-- Well, let's say, friend. Lorraine Finster.
[LORRAINE TAKES THE PULPIT.]
LORRAINE: [TO THE MINISTER] Thank you, Kevin.
[THE MINISTER SITS DOWN, LOOKING NERVOUS.]
LORRAINE: Stanley Walker was a giant bear of a man. And underneath that giant bear was a smaller bear. And underneath that bear was me. Gasping for air. When I first met Stanley, I was working in the cafeteria of a white collar prison. At the time, I was deeply involved with the handsome embezzler who led a major telecom company into bankruptcy. When I laid eyes on Stanley, all thoughts of other criminals were forgotten.
[CUT TO OTHERS SHARING MEMORIES.]
WILL: Stanley Walker was a great man.
GRACE: A big man.
JACK: A fat man.
WILL: But he was also a kind man.
GRACE: A family man.
JACK: A surprisingly good dancer.
WILL: There's something that you may not know about Stan. He loved the ocean. We'd sit on his boat for hours, and, uh, he'd say, "Will... the ocean is like the sea." He used to say that he wanted to come back as a whale.... I never commented on that.
GRACE: Whenever he stopped by my office, he would always bring tulips. I don't like tulips, so I'd go down to the Korean market and exchange them for other flowers... or a salad. Or those little fig cookies that come three to a pack. They're always up by the gum. You know which ones I'm talking about?
JACK: He was an accomplished Etch-a-Sketch artist. I'd like to show you one he did for me.
[JACK HOLDS UP AN ETCH-A-SKETCH.]
JACK: I will always remember you, Stanley Walker. Always remember you, Stanley! [JACK SOBS, SHAKING THE ETCH-A-SKETCH.]
[JACK NOTICES THE ETCH-A-SKETCH IS NOW BLANK AND STOPS CRYING.]
JACK: Hey, where did it go?
WILL: I'll miss his humor. He loved a good knock-knock joke. Whenever I saw him, he always had a new one for me. Well, today, I have one for you, Stan. Knock, knock.
[EVERYONE KIND OF LOOKS AROUND UNEASILY.]
WILL: Knock. Knock.
EVERYONE: [HESITATING] Who's there?
WILL: Will.
EVERYONE: Will who?
WILL: "Will" miss ya, Stan.
[WILL SITS DOWN.]
MINISTER: And now, to say a few words, is Stan's loving second wife, Karen Walker.
[KAREN WALKS PAST LORRAINE, UP TO THE ALTAR.]
LORRAINE: [WHILE FAKE COUGHING] Two people are wearing your dress. [COUGH-COUGH]
[KAREN STOPS AND COMPOSES HERSELF AND TAKES THE PULPIT.]
KAREN: Most of you know about the recent trouble Stan and I have had. Just in case you don't, I'll get you up to speed. The British whore killed him. [POINTS TO LORRAINE.]
KAREN: But the truth is, we really did care about each other. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I want you all to leave so I can find out what's in his will. I'm not kidding. Mm-hmm, if you're not in the will, please exit. The good people at Neutrogena have provided wonderful gift bags. Please pick one up on your way out.
[MOST EVERYONE GETS UP AND BEGINS TO EXIT.]
[CUT TO LATER. GRACE IS SITTING IN A PEW, PICKING THROUGH A GIFT BAG AND MOVING THE STUFF INTO HER GIFT BAG.]
[LEO ENTERS THE CHAPEL.]
GRACE: Leo, where were you?
LEO: It was kind of an important phone call. Doctors Without Borders. They're opening a new clinic in Guatemala and they--they want me to come help set it up.
GRACE: Guatemala? You're going back to Africa?
LEO: Yes, yes, and remind me to buy you an atlas.
GRACE: I can't believe this. You just got back, and now you're leaving again?
LEO: Can I just say something--
GRACE: No, how could you be so insensitive? I mean, you have no sensitivity. You're like the opposite of sensitive.
LEO: And while I'm at the bookstore, I'll pick up a thesaurus for you too.
GRACE: I'm glad that this is funny to you. Ha, ha, big joke. "My wife's dumb." Ha, ha. "I know more than one word that means insensitive." Whoo-hoo!
LEO: Would you shut up, you freak? I want you to come with me!
GRACE: Oh. Wait, are you really asking me, or are you just asking 'cause I kinda yelled at you?
LEO: I'm really asking you. Baby, I want you to come. This--this is what I do. And--and you're... you're who I do. I-I just wanna be able to do who I do, while I do what I do.
GRACE: You do?
LEO: I do.
[GRACE AND LEO HUG AND KISS.]
GRACE: Whoo-hoo! Guatemala! I'm going to Spain!
SCENE IV: The Mortuary, After Stanley Walker's Funeral
(WILL is waiting in the lobby for the will.)
[WILL'S ASSOCIATE, GARY, ENTERS THE LOBBY CARRYING THE LEGAL DOCUMENT. HE'S WEARING A WHITE SLEVELESS T-SHIRT AND WHITE SHORTS.]
WILL: Oh, Gary, thanks so much. I really appreciate it. I hope I didn't pull you out of anything important.
GARY: Nah, I was just playing tennis with a few of the partners.
WILL: The partners play tennis?
GARY: Yeah, every Sunday at the club.
WILL: You guys have a club?
GARY: Come on, Will, I'm kidding. You really think the whole firm gets together every Sunday to play tennis and laugh behind your back? Heh-heh.
WILL: No.
GARY: You go with that. [GARY PATS WILL ON THE SHOULDER.]
[CUT TO INSIDE THE CHAPEL.]
JACK: Oh, Kare. I'm sure you don't have anything to worry about. Stan sure loved ya. He'll make sure you're taken care of.
KAREN: I don't know, honey. That Cockney sucker had some kind of power over him. For all I know, she could've talked him into signing everything over to her and leaving me nothing.
JACK: Huh. 'Scuse me for a second...
KAREN: Okay.
JACK: I just gotta, you know...
[JACK GETS UP AND DROPS A BIBLE IN THE AISLE BEHIND LORRAINE.]
[JACK POPS UP NEXT TO LORRAINE.]
JACK: [QUIETLY] Hi, Lorraine. How you hanging in there?
LORRAINE: [QUIETLY] Well, it's tough, Jackie. I mean, I've been touched by death, haven't I? I was also touched by Stan's nephew. Filthy little rascal tried to bugger me in the rectory.
JACK: [QUIETLY] Well, you do have a very pretty rectory.
[WILL AND GARY ENTER THE CHAPEL. GARY SITS DOWN AND WILL WALKS UP TO THE PULPIT.]
WILL: If everyone could please take their seats. We'll get started. [READING THE WILL] "I, Stanley Evelyn walker, being of sound mind do hereby bequeath the following. My cured meat room and all the contents therein shall be divided as follows. All hanging salamis and domestic hams will go to my son Mason for reasons that will be clear to him. My prosciuttos, mortadellas, and the best of my wursts... go to my beloved daughter, Olivia. The entire contents of my jerky room..."
[LATER... EVERYONE IS SLUMPED OVER IN BOREDOM.]
WILL: "...shall be all chutneys. Preserves and jams, including, but not limited to, mustards shall go Rufus Huang of Empire Szechwan. Thanks for the deliveries."
RUFUS: What?! Ten trips a day and three back surgeries, all I get is mustard?! Thanks for nothing, fatso! [HE STORMS OUT.]
WILL: All right. "Regarding my monetary assets..."
JACK: I'm pulling for you, Kare. [WHISPERS TO LORRAINE] Fingers crossed, Lorraine.
WILL: "First and foremost, for her years of undying love and loyalty, I leave to my dear, dear maid, Rosario, the sum of $ 10 million dollars."
[EVERYONE GASPS.]
ROSARIO: I'm free! I'm free from that evil witch. [TO KAREN] I hope you rot, and I hope it hurts.
WILL: "To be paid upon the completion of 20 more years of service to Karen Walker."
[KAREN SITS BACK WITH A SMUG SMILE ON HER FACE.]
ROSARIO: [MEEKLY TO KAREN] Can I get you a soda?
KAREN: Maybe later. Like in 2016.
WILL: "To someone whom my second wife, Karen, always held in such regard and spoke of with great affection..."
GRACE: Oh, my God, that's me.
WILL: "Grape Antler."
[KAREN TURNS AROUND AND SMILES AT GRACE.]
WILL: "I leave you my life-sized oil painting of Karen so you never have to be far from her."
GRACE: [QUIETLY TO LEO] Oh, crap. Maybe I can trade with that Chinese food guy.
WILL: "And to two of my favorite people whose commitment to each other has inspired me to look for love in my own life, I leave the sum of $ 20,000. Will Truman and Jack McFarland, get married already." What?!
JACK: What?! Did you just propose to me?!
WILL: No! I was reading the thing. I guess Stan thought you and I were a couple.
KAREN: Kiss him!
[KAREN AND ROSARIO CLAP.]
JACK: You gotta be kidding me. This is ridiculous.
WILL: I know!
JACK: Who can get married for 20 thou'?! My dress alone will cost 15!
WILL: Continuing on. "The remainder of my estate, which includeses the entirety of my financial holdings, all real estate and its contents, will go to the true love of my life... the woman I was meant to be with..."
[BEAT]
WILL: "My wife, Karen."
LORRAINE: Ah, crikey!
KAREN: Oh, my God! Whoopee!
JACK: Kare, I was pulling for ya the whole time. [TO LORRAINE] You, me... [SPITS]
WILL: "And finally, to Lorraine Finster--"
LORRAINE: What the hell's left? His right teste on a biscuit?
WILL: "Lorraine, you always said you wanted nothing from me but affection. So I leave to you... affection. Ta."
LORRAINE: I was trapped under that fatty for two days. I've got the word "Posturepedic" permanently imprinted in my spine, and all I get is "ta"?!
KAREN: Well, I guess if you'd had ta-ta's, you would've gotten everything.
[LORRAINE LEAVES IN A HUFF.]
SCENE IV: Outside the Mortuary, After Stanley Walker's Funeral
(WILL and JACK are waiting outside.)
WILL: $ 20,000. So generous of Stan.
JACK: I know. But where did he ever get the idea we were a couple?
WILL: Beats me. Here, you got some schmutz.
[WILL WIPES THE CORNER OF JACK'S MOUTH.]
JACK: Thank you. [JACK HUGS WILL'S ARM.]
[KAREN, ROSARIO, GRACE, AND LEO EXIT THE MORTUARY.]
GRACE: Karen, I want you to take some time off. I mean, I'm gonna be in Guatemala anyway. You know, making the world a little better, gettin' a little color.
LEO: There's not gonna be a lotta time for tanning.
GRACE: Yeah, we'll see. [TO KAREN] Are you okay? What is it?
KAREN: My Stanley really loved me. That's what all that money means, you know. That's how you tell someone you love them.
[GRACE LOOKS AT LEO AND POINTS TO KAREN.]
[KAREN WALKS UP TO WILL AND JACK.]
KAREN: [TO WILL AND JACK] Guys... thank you for being here today. It really meant a lot.
WILL: Of course.
KAREN: And Rosie.
ROSARIO: Yes, mommy?
KAREN: Run ahead and make sure there's no dog poop around the limo, then, get in and mix up a batch of pomegranate martinis, I wanna toast the memory of my husband. Come on, rapido domingo. [CLAPPING] Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
ROSARIO: [UNDER HER BREATH] 20 more years with this bitch…
